Kingdom Come

Discussion in 'Original Stories' started by RazorsHurt, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. RazorsHurt

    RazorsHurt New Member

    Jul 29, 2017
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    Hello fellow fans of fantasy and light novels my name is RazorsHurt. I'm happy to present my own original story Kingdom Come. I'm still very new to writing and am by no means a master of punctuation or grammar so please point out any mistakes. Tell me where I need improvement or just let me know it sucks. I'm still wavering on how often I will post a new chapter I'll play it safe for now and say once a week on Sunday.

    When sentient life was born it sought to understand the laws governing the world and bring them to full expression. Mighty factions rose from this thirst for knowledge each one bringing to light new ways to utilize these laws of power. Reme is a young boy living in the southern region of the Divine Truth Empire. All his life he has felt the calling of forgotten memories urging him to seek out the unknown. This call to adventure might intrigue most though Reme would rather plan an elaborate prank than seek power. But, being born to the Sunfire Tribe he will be expected to fight or die. For the people living on the frontier they are constantly tested by the dangers lurking at the edges of the empire. How will this flippantly ignorant boy rise to tame the very fabric of reality itself.


    Power of Law - The universe is governed by fundamental laws everything from fire to emotion is ruled by them. Before the universe was born only the Law of Chaos existed. Then a change occurred and chaos was fractured. Out of this disruption were born the Laws of Destruction & Creation. From these two laws all lesser laws were born.

    Power Hierarchy


    Levels - Lesser Law<Minor Law<Advanced Law<?<?<?<?

    Ranks of Mastery - First Rank (Expression)->Second Rank (Empowerment)->Third Rank (?)->Fourth Rank (?)

    Cultivation Ranks & Titles

    Nothing yet

    People and Places

    The Sunfire Tribe - Established over a hundred years ago on the southern edge of the empire’s frontier. The Tribe has managed to rule a sizable portion land. Unfortunately the world’s other inhabitants don’t usually tolerate humans. To survive the tribe was forced to subordinate themselves to the Aldonis Clan.

    Aldonis Clan - One of the oldest clans on the frontier. They have some connections to sects closer to the heart of the empire. Currently they have five subordinate tribes including the Sunfire Tribe.

    Arctus Supreme/Reme/MC - When his father named him he expected his boy to be great warrior and that he would follow in his footsteps. Reme on the other hand would rather spend his time exploring the woods with Luo what he's searching for he doesn't know. He often neglects to train more likely to use his abilities for a practical joke than combat.

    Arctus Jun
    - The father of Reme and husband of Blackwind Sky. A man verging in his mid thirties, his great power over the Sunfire Tribes core law ensures he is one of the top candidates for chief. When he was younger Jun was known for his ruthless and arrogant personality.

    Blackwind Sky - The mother of Reme she once traveled the Divine Truth’s Empire before being injured. Sky was forced to seek shelter with the Sunfire Tribe she eventually fell in love with and married Sunfire Jun. She never quite recovered from her injuries.

    Sunfire Diren - Longtime rival of Reme’s father, another individual being considered for chief. A bit of a schemer he relies less on raw power. He prefers instead to create connections as a direct descendant of the tribes founder he has the means to make those connections.

    Arctus Tong - Sister of Jun she is another formidable member of the tribe but tends to keep to herself. Her son Sunfire Luo is a close friend of Reme’s.

    Arctus Luo - Quiet and reserved like his mother he can most often be found following Reme on his various escapades.

    Chapter 1 - Trial by Fire

    “Quickly, chase it down! The beast is injured, but don’t underestimate it.” shouted a man to the others running beside him. They moved swiftly through the dense underbrush of the forest. Closing in on their quarry the hunters sprinting even harder knowing the hunt was almost over.

    Bursting through the trees into a clearing, they found an injured wolf-like creature. It was large with silver fur streaked with black. Its right side was bleeding a broken arrow lodged between its ribs. Spreading out in a large semi-circle the hunters prepared to deliver the finishing blow. Growling, the creature hunched down protecting its injured right side.

    “Careful,” the man who’d spoken before said, “Keep your distance it seems to still have some fight left.”

    Snapping it’s eyes to the man who’d spoken the creature let out another fierce growl readying itself to attack. “That’s it focus on me.” he said while moving ever close to the beast. Being so close the man noted how large it actually was standing chest height with him. Its eyes he noticed, while savage had an inkling of understanding of what was to come. The beast knew its death was near, and the only decision left to it was, whether or not to make one last attempt to kill its attackers.

    “Notch arrows and prepare to fire.” the man ordered his eye’s still locked with the beast’s more out of fear than courage. Drawing their bows the other hunters took aim ready to fire at a moments notice.

    Seeing this the beast made its decision. Letting out an ear-splitting howl it charged the man closest to it, moving far more swiftly than any had anticipated.

    The instant the beast moved all arrows were loosed each one failing to find its target. The beast was moving far to fast it was almost on top of the lead man even before the first arrow hit the dirt behind it.

    “Look out!” another one of the hunters screamed in a panic while struggling to notch another arrow.

    Saliva dripping from its gaping maw the beast’s jaws were closing in on one of the hunter’s necks. However, it was stopped mid lunge with the beast face inches from his own. Gnashing its teeth the beast tried in vain to bite the man. A pitiful whine escaped from the beast as it gasped for air its throat slowly being crushed in the hunter’s iron grip.

    Raising his arm higher the large beast was lifted off the ground its four legs waving uselessly in the air. “You picked the wrong one beast. Now you die.” addressing the beast a cold edge to his voice.

    Hands still grasping its neck suddenly burst into flame the fire quickly spreading to the creature in his grip. The beast thrashed wildly but no matter how it moved he didn’t budge an inch. The man stood still like a mountain till the beast moved no more. Extinguishing the fire he dropped the beast which landed with a thud.

    Turning away from the still smoldering corpse he directed his gaze to the five hunters behind him. All of them had taken the opportunity to retreat to a safe distance.

    The man who’d been giving orders till that point stepped forth an angry somewhat accusatory look in his eyes, “What have you done Jun? That dire-wolf was meant to be my prize! I cannot take a charred pelt back to the village, the elders will think I’ve cheated.”

    “Hmph, if hunting was the only thing tested for the Trials all of you would fail!” Jun looked hard at each hunter behind Diren, each lowered their heads to avoid his gaze. “As it stands none of you are ready for the next trial. You might as well give up and try again next year.” Dusting off his clothes Jun began to walk back to the village leaving Diren and his posse to continue their hunt.

    “No!” Diren said moving to follow Jun. Turning around Jun was none to surprised hearing Diren’s challenge. “No? You think I’m wrong Diren?” Jun was unimpressed by the other man’s attitude.

    They stared at each other looking for signs of weakness waiting to see who’s gaze wavered first. Diren briefly broke eye contact before saying “You think we are weak but, even you needed to use the tribe’s law to kill the beast. If not for your actions I would have a pelt by now.”

    “Ha, I only defended myself the beast was the one stupid enough to attack me. I didn’t hear you complain when I helped you track it down after your first failed attempt. It was you that failed to kill the beast a second time. This trial was meant to test our ability to hunt by relying only on the abilities we are born with. Your failings are not mine, I already have my prize.” swinging a severed dire-wolf head hanging from his belt. If one looked closely a small arrow shaped hole was visible in the middle of the wolf’s head. Jun gave a derisive snort turning to leave.

    “Damn you!” Diren shouted his arms igniting becoming engulfed in a bright red flame. With a shout he jumped toward Jun’s back hoping to take him by surprise. A fiery punch aimed directly at the back of his head Jun moved like lighting ducking and turning. Half crouched Jun’s hands shot out grasping both of Diren’s arms instantly extinguishing his flames. Leaning in close Jun whispered, “Better luck next time.”

    A small smile played on Jun’s lips before he gave Diren’s arms a hard twist breaking them. Diren to his credit only gave a sharp grunt of pain as he stumbled backwards into the arms of two other hunters. Not giving Diren even a second glance Jun turned and began walking back toward the village.

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